Community and Belongingness

Community and Belongingness

by Fazeel Aziz Chauhan

(Published in Pakistan Link ~  3-15-95)

We come to the United States in search of something better. In the process, we may gain a lot, but we are also uprooted. We lose many precious things, including our loved ones and our home. To combat the hardships of this new land, we need the support of our fellow Pakistanis. A strong community can provide us with the feeling of belongingness and make us feel like home.
The famous psychologist Abraham Maslow identified a human being's five most important needs as:
1) Physical
2) Safety
3) Love and Belongingness
4) Self-Esteem
5) Self-Actualization
To fulfill the love and belongingness need, we must have the support of our community. In our house, our family provides us with this warm and comforting feeling. This is how we define a place as "home". At home we feel like we really belong there. It's a place where we are loved, accepted, sheltered and nurtured. We have left our homeland - Pakistan, and have now moved into our new house - the United States. In this new house, our community can serve as our extended family to turn it into our home.
Personally, I've tried to blend into the American lifestyle, but often I am treated like an outsider. We may not be considered as equals, based on our differences in culture, language, religion and color. These are the harsh realities of life in the United States. Discrimination is psychological genocide. Such obstacles seem overwhelming if we attempt to combat them all alone. But we can face them better if we know that we have the support of a strong community behind us. This "community" is not a vague and abstract entity some where out there. We have to think of it simply as you, and me.
These comments are not intended to create reverse discrimination. What I am suggesting is that our Pakistani community can serve as our home base, offering us stability. We should be able to feel confident that we can always return to this safe haven. As individuals, we have to implant our roots deep into our community. From there, we can go out to succeed in the rest of the world. Otherwise, we are liable to drift away like a ship without an anchor. We have to start with ourselves.
There is an emphasis on individuality here, but there is also a lot of isolation. As lone individuals, we run the risk of losing our identity. We can become discouraged enough to lose our hopes and dreams. It can turn into a terrible situation, making our life here very difficult.
Under these circumstances, the support of our fellow Pakistanis becomes extremely important for our survival and well being. We need role models and friends. We should be able to interact intimately and bond with each other. Together we can form this united community.

Instead of pointing out each others' human weaknesses, we should focus on the other's positive qualities. We should embrace the common threads that unite us. We can overcome fearing each other and stop allowing our differences to create distances between us. It will be very helpful if we have an objective attitude and are more tolerant of other people. Our culture teaches us to be sensitive and caring. I appeal to you to use these abilities to get close to, and empathize with each other.
Life in the U.S. can become very challenging indeed. Therefore, the circle of a tight-knit community can serve as an essential refuge, where we can frequently come and feel at home. If each one of us does our part in helping one another, we can make this place our home away from home. A strong community can be a homeland and like a mother, comfort us in her loving arms. She can give us the feelings of belongingness and acceptance, and help erase our feelings of homelessness. Isolation makes us feel weak and rejected. Belongingness charges our batteries and makes us feel strong and empowered.
Let's have community gatherings more often, to preserve our roots and identity, as well as our sanity. More importantly, let's focus on the individual level. If each one of us offers their support to all the people they come in contact with on a daily basis, we can develop this powerful community. Let's offer our trust and friendship to each other. We can share a few laughs to ease each other's sorrows. Some times all we need is a few words of kindness. Let's embrace each other and unite in a strong circle of our community, where we can help and love one another, through the limited time we have left here together.