Are You a Fish or a Frog

Are You A Frog Or A Fish?

by Fazeel Azeez Chauhan

(Published in Pakistan Link ~ 10-11-96)

Hey, where are you from? This question is asked of us because we are viewed as different; Frogs among Fish. Maybe the issue is not Frogs and Fish but Cowboys and Indians. Yea but what's this Fishy Froggy business anyway.......
Well, I'll quote my Amphibious friend from Ottawa, Canada "I believe it was Imam Abdullah Hakim who told me about fish and frogs. He used these two animal types to describe the two basic kinds of Muslims: "fish" and "frogs". Fish, being water-dwellers, rely on their special environment to carry out all of their activities of life; on the other hand, frogs, which are amphibious creatures, can thrive both in water and on land. "Fish" require ever-present, supportive and homogeneous environments to function successfully. But "frogs" can make it ANYWHERE. Do you seek to spread yourself beyond the scope of your comfort zone? Are you a frog? How far are you willing to venture? If you have thick, slimy, green skin then come along with me!".
Hybrids like us live in the U.S. but are linked to other countries, through an invisible umbilical cord. Those of us who've lived in the "old countries", swam and played among the local schools of fish. There we were fish and not viewed as frogs. The millions of beautiful and colorful fish were of all shapes and sizes. To a large extent, we understood our people and our surroundings, and enjoyed a certain amount of comfortable belongingness there.
Now we've come out to a new land, a different world. Some of us hybrids were born here yet don't feel we belong solely to this land. We long for a swim in the deep ocean and sometimes we venture out there with our friends, fish and frogs alike. As frogs, we are likely to float on top of the water, near the shore, with our vision reaching into the heavens. Through the clouds and the pollution, we try to ponder who we are, where we are and where we belong. And how many years more will we have to live here to be not considered "Foreigners". We may experience that today, fish in both the Indian and Pacific Oceans view us as strange green aliens. So it makes us speculate where can we fit in.
Young people like us often wonder "Who the hell am I? Am I American, Pakistani, or Muslim"? We wonder which group we belong with, Caucasian, African, or Hispanics. Sometimes application forms force us to be incorrectly classified as "Asian" by which they mean Pacific Asian only. Other times we're stereotyped as Arabs or Middle-eastern people. As we ponder these questions and form our self-identity, we beg, borrow and steal pieces of ourselves from various sources. An African American friend recently educated me about the idea of the "Looking Glass Self". It states that we look at ourselves through other peoples' eyes. Us Frogs don't often have the luxury of looking at ourselves through our own people's eyes. So we often see ourselves through American eyes. And sadly, the American eye usually captures us at our worst, and presents negative images about us through the media.
My friend ZZ from Washington D.C. says "I think an important issue that we, as the "first generation", face is culture. What are we? We are hybrids, that is a pertinent term. But where do we draw the line? As an American born citizen, I think I should consider myself an American. The only life I've known is being in America. But I also value my parents' roots, Pakistan. But their parents were Indian. It's really confusing, living in a "hybrid-culture". During the day, we work and hang out with Americans, talking to them, eating their food, experiencing their values. Yet, when we come home to our families, we are eating curries and rice, speaking Urdu and listening to Indian music. At least my parents usually do. I enjoy that too, but, jeez I gotta turn on MTV and watch Alternative Nation to get a grip. And adults wonder why so many of us are so messed up. We have no idea who or what we are. At least, I feel that way sometimes."
How can we ease this situation of duality? That will come from supporting each other. To help each other deal with our common predicament, we need to share our tools. We need to really talk and listen to each other. We need older people to be open to their children and also to mentors youngsters. We may not be able to solve all our problems, but sometimes it helps greatly just to express our feelings and to know that we're not alone in feeling like a fish out of water. Our people lack a survival manual, a history and power in this land. But gradually, our Pakistani community is getting more established here and our broader, amphibious views are benefitting other communities as well. We can also learn valuable adaptation techniques from other communities. Achieving a healthy balance within ourselves is not easy, but none the less, it's a great adventure