Violence vs. a Healthy Conscience
by Fazeel Chauhan
as published in Pakistan Link, December 28, 2012
https://pakistanlink.org/Opinion/2012/Dec12/28/07.HTM
In the wake of the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School, one wonders how does a person know the difference between right and wrong? We are born with certain traits and tendencies and also parts of our personalities are developed through learning. Some say it is a person’s conscience which reminds him to do the right thing and restrains him from doing the wrong thing. We teach our babies to protect themselves. “Don’t put your hand in the fire, don’t go out in the cold without a jacket, don’t stick your finger in the power outlet, don’t talk to strangers, stand up for yourself against bullies”, we unfailingly tell them. Many beliefs and ideas become cemented in our minds through childhood indoctrination. If those imprints come from a dysfunctional family, it can take decades to undo that flawed early programming. Thus the role of parents to nurture and shape a child’s behavior and belief system is very important.
In our lives, what we don’t know gets us in trouble, and more suffering is caused also because we have forgotten valuable lessons we had already learned. So it is important to keep that knowledge alive through reminders including re-enforcement of ethical ideas. The true character of a person is how he behaves when no one else is watching. Perhaps at that moment he is cognizant, or not, that God is still a witness. We are faced with moral dilemmas every day: should I pickup this wallet someone dropped, and keep the cash, no one will ever know. Perhaps the moral compass is located in the conscience, and it has to be kept lubed and tuned up through repetition of learning. Otherwise, like the heart, the moral compass can become jammed and the conscience could deaden.
Fresh air is important for the mind, otherwise the ideas in there can become stale, which could have toxic effects on the conscience. In war, how can a person in power convince the army soldier to leave the comfort of his home, tear himself away from his loving wife and children, put his own life at risk and then go thousands of miles away to kill other human beings? Usually it requires dehumanization of the “enemy”, that they are not human beings. Also depersonalization of the “other”, that they are very different or crazy, to keep them distant, so that you don’t empathize with them. If you put yourself in the other person’s shoes, then usually you don’t want to harm them. So the military man has to be convinced by his superiors that what he is doing is morally right. He believes he’s a hero when shooting other people in a war. For some religious people, the conscience is a place where God lives, or a source which reminds the person to have fear of God. Maybe the conscience is inhabited by both angels and demons. A politician can then exploit the angels so they succumb to despair, and then he can compel the demons to take over and control the behavior of the soldier. Legal and illegal drugs are often used to deaden the angels. If the angels fall asleep, the person forgets he will be held accountable for his actions.
Religious people say they are right and claim they protect human rights and injustices. Atheists or non-religious people say that millions of people have been killed in wars in the name of religion. Religious people believe they have a strong moral compass. They go to church, temple, mosque, etc., where ethical behavior is re-enforced in their minds. But non-religious people, especially in America and Europe, can also exhibit very ethical behavior and they don’t seem to have more criminal tendencies than religious people. In the West, more people are educated, compared to poor nations, for example in Africa. If it’s not fear of God, then what is it that prompts secular people to do the right thing and stops them from doing the wrong thing?
In our daily lives, mentally healthy people can get stuck in bad habits or get lost in thoughts. Their buttons get pushed un-expectedly (or expectedly), which triggers strong emotional reactions within them. Some of these emotions can be: feeling hurt, feeling angry, feeling injured. When a person gets emotionally wounded, these feelings could overpower the moral compass in their conscience. Ethical behavior then is put on hold and fear of God becomes absent, even notions of self-defense can become suspended. At that moment, the person can burst into rage and do things he normally wouldn’t do and thus will regret later. This madness can drive him to commit heinous criminal acts. In the past some criminals would plead “temporary insanity” in court to justify their violent behavior. A stressful situation can push a mentally healthy person over the edge and turn him into a criminal. Possibly, a mentally unhealthy person might be even more fragile and have less self-control. The fears can be un-realistic, for example feeling paranoid that someone will hurt them. So that person might be over-protective of himself or be overly aggressive towards others, because the threats are exaggerated in his own mind.
Mental illness, like physical illness can strike anyone at any time. Clearly, in our country we don’t do much to address mental illness. Mostly, people are sedated with legal medications, alcohol and illegal drugs. If we call ourselves mentally healthy, we still have normal events happen which cause our minds to play tricks on us. What excuses, lies and justifications do we use on a daily basis to convince ourselves that our un-ethical behavior was okay to do?
Too many tragedies have happened in America as a result of gun violence. About 87 Americans are killed every day as a result of gun violence, according to the University of Chicago Crime Lab and the Centers for Disease Control. In our nation’s history we have the gunslingers of the wild-west shooting each other mercilessly. As Michael Moore points out in his Academy Award winning documentary, “Bowling for Columbine”, we have a culture of violence and wars. Domestically, the war against the Native Americans, the violence against African Americans during slavery, the wars to take over California, Texas and Hawaii. On foreign lands, there have been 187 US military interventions in the last two hundred years in mostly poor countries of the world
( http://www.globalpolicy.org/component/content/article/155/26024.html ), which indicates a high tendency towards weapons use. Sadly, the powerful lobby of the National Rifle Association does not allow the government to ban automatic weapons like the military style machine guns. We as a nation somehow feel threatened and paranoid that there are enemies out there. The imaginary bogeyman is just around the corner every day instead of Santa Claus. Yes, there are monsters and criminals out there whom we need to stop and protect ourselves against. But how many machine guns are enough in the home? And how many military bases are enough around the world? And how many nuclear bombs do we need to feel safe? If a Martian lands here, he’ll say this culture of weapons, domestic violence and foreign wars, is very irresponsible, immature and dangerous behavior. Hopefully, the Congress will soon pass a law to prohibit all automatic weapons in our country, and some day ban all weapons at home and wars abroad.
In last week’s massacre at Sandy Hook another cause is mental illness. There is another factor which brings up the old question: What is the most common and most acceptable form of child abuse in America? The answer is divorce. Children blame themselves for the divorce of their parents. These wounds may never heal and those kids grow up and become divorced parents themselves. Thus the poisonous pedagogy continues. A child would rather deal with the tragedy of both parents dying rather than dealing with the divorce of the parents. But in our society today, we are taught that divorce is normal and not harmful. We are encouraged toward instant self-gratification. “What’s right is what makes you happy”, is a common belief in our culture, which can make the standards of moral behavior very subjective. We can become very narcissistic and ruthless towards others, instead of using objective principles to guide our lives.
The mother nurtures and spends much more time with the child and teaches a tremendous amount. But it is difficult for her to raise boys, without the help of their father. A boy learns from his father how to be a man. At times, the father has to be stern and tough to discipline the boy, especially to teach him that he should not be a menace to society. Mothers can find it difficult to provide such training consistently because their natural tendency is to be nurturing and forgiving. Women are relationship-oriented and men are individual-oriented and rule-oriented. One reason men like sports is it reminds them of rules and principles in life. Without accountability to rules, men become ruthless savages. A father can teach his son to keep an open mind so that positive messages and non-violent solutions can find a way to his conscience.
The father’s voice often echoes in the chambers of a child’s mind to do the right thing. Divorce is like throwing your child under a truck. Boys who join gangs or become hoodlums often have fathers missing in their lives. One of the responsibilities of the father is to provide protection and security. So when his son does something dangerous to himself or others, the father should be there to stop it, prevent it and resolve it so that the home and the world are a safe space. As family members, and as fellow citizens, we need to take ownership when things fail, and ask ourselves: What was my role in allowing this to happen? For example, a parent should realize that they should not get divorced. A citizen should commit to civic engagement and ensure that gun violence in our country and wars abroad come to a stop.
An important question to ask ourselves is: What is my responsibility in making the world a better and safer place? The students at Penn State University serve as a good example. They came up with 40 acts of kindness and civic engagement:
http://www.personal.psu.edu/uxg3/blogs/40ActsKindness/ongoing-acts-0105/
