Abandonment of Religion

Abandonment of Religion

by

Fazeel Aziz Chauhan

(as published in Pakistan Link, Los Angeles, 10-17-97)

When we come to America, our beliefs are tested and challenged like never before. In the old country, you are usually conditioned to living in a homogenous community. This may have been a predominantly Muslim society or a native or eastern culture. Thus the bombardment of all the western and alien elements in the new and contrary environment can often send you into a headspin. So much so that the process of adaptation or assimilation can make you abandon your religion. The loss of these beliefs also translates into the severance of your roots and the crumbling of your personality's foundation. This issue is of great concern specially when it comes to the new generation. Hopefully sooner than later, you realize that you have lost your way. Now how do you get back to the right path?

Life in the States can be very unstable. The opportunities are available for both paths: to learn and progress or to slip and drown. Under the new flag, you may experience more freedom of choice and decide that nobody can tell you what to do anymore. In the past, your father told you to be responsible and held you accountable for your actions. Mother told you to be a good boy and stay away from the company of partying people. Teachers told you to behave yourself and obey authority. Your community pressured you to conform to their religious and cultural norms. 

What leads a person to abandon religion? It probably begins soon after migration when a person first tries to assimilate into the American way of life. You may feel that all those old pressures and restrictions were bogus and need to go out the window. You begin to taste all the forbidden fruits and turn a blind eye toward your beliefs. You see that many Americans laugh at the idea of religion and God, and that concept begins to brainwash you too. Under the influence of this scientific and logical-brain oriented society, you begin to mistrust your heart and soul. Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan quotes Allama Iqbal in a Qawali "Man Kee Dunya May Na Daykha May Nay Afrangi Ka Raaj".

Believing the values of the pop culture, you perceive organized religion as being empty and meaningless, only full of dogma and rituals. You entertain the idea that you haven't seen God and that he doesn't exist. The emphasis on individualism, consumerism, and the pleasure principle also encourage you toward worldly things and away from spirituality. Crutches like sex, medicines and alcohol only provide temporary happiness and escape from harsh realities. Some people subscribe to the melting pot philosophy and end up losing their own identity. 

The process of moving away from being Muslim and Pakistani, and into being American involves losses as well as gains. After the initial mild or severe culture shock has diminished, you begin to realize where you are and what you've lost. "By Gosh Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore". The solitary life, separation from family, lack of belongingness, payment of bills and incompatible values can all become very stressful. The loss of a supportive culture can also lead to a loss of the intertwined religious beliefs. 

As your beliefs weaken, any difficulty can turn into a test of faith which can cause you to lose hope and abandon religion. For example, a lack of loving relationships takes a heavy emotional toll and makes you lost and lonely. Not understanding the new culture's values can cause a lot of suffering and confusion. Often you feel stranded between two worlds and even simple decisions can create conflicts that tear you up inside. The harsh American life and lack of ikhlaaq (caring) among people in the big cities stabs at you to cause ulcers. A major problem develops into a test of faith, as you turn to God and pray for help and guidance. And if God doesn't answer in a timely manner, you can feel frustrated and overwhelmed. You can get trapped by grief or heavy burdens and become hopeless, angry, cynical and rebellious. You may end up thinking that maybe there is no God, and religion is not true. Also, folks who become rich or happy with stable lives can say "I don't have a problem, Why do I need religion?". 

Another reason for reaching the point of abandonment of religion is the lack of a strong belief system (Imaan). Some of us were not educated with the proper religious knowledge and understanding. Instead, blind faith, rote memorization and fear tactics were emphasized. Bad experiences with other Muslims who may be unkind, not trustworthy, insincere, deceptive, liars, cheats, greedy, selfish, uncooperative, self-righteous, prejudiced and narrow minded, make us doubtful and bitter. We may start believing the local media who criminalize Muslims and attempt to defeat, belittle and deceive us. 

How does a person come back to God and religion? After abandonment, a person may have embarked on a search for truth and spiritual fulfillment through other means. Many philosophies can help a person find a good path. But a proper understanding of religious teachings can provide guidance on a precise road map. A person can come back home to Islam through the front door, by studying the Quran and Hadith. The ability to decipher the truth can increase with age. It would help if practical solutions to common problems are provided through the mosques. A more progressive approach needs to be promoted to better apply Islamic teachings into every day life. In this matter, new African American and Hispanic Muslims provide us with fresh perspectives, hope and inspiration. 

A person can also find his way back home to Islam through outside channels. Yoga, self-help books, psychology, meditation, support groups, music, 12 step programs, counseling, and self expression through the arts can heal a person. Learning and testing the truth through these alternative methods can validate Islamic teachings. Thus a person can discover that what he was taught in childhood was true after all and he can then return to the right path. The best healer and guide is a sincere and trustworthy friend. Are you going to help someone by being that Muslim friend who serves as an example - like Prophet Mohammed or Hazrat Ali "The Walking Quran"?