Gambling

by Fazeel Chauhan

(Published in Pakistan Link  ~  3-15-95)

Kamran has lived in this country for the past six years. He came here on a student visa to pursue higher education and has just completed a master's degree in Computer Science. Now he's faced with a dilemma. Should he go back to Pakistan or stay here. I have frequently met people who have had to make this important decision. Like the major choices in life, it's a big gamble. Weighing the pros and cons of either option can be very difficult. Here's what his situation is:
"Up until a few months ago, I wanted to stay here. I had planned to send resumes to various companies to look for a job. Someone out there would hire me, I thought, and sponsor me, so that I could live in this country legally. But now I'm not sure whether it's wise for me to stay here. To extend my visa and to buy myself some more time while I'm in the process of making a decision, I have enrolled into a MBA program at my university.
"I have talked to a few of my colleagues who are in the same boat as me. One of them is from Algeria and he was the top student of my university. He was doing an internship with one of the defense contractors. As a project leader, he designed some technically difficult systems, using the latest tools and proved himself a valuable asset to his company. He worked extra hard and obtained awards and recognition from the employer. Yet, even after all of that, the company did not sponsor him. He ended up going back to Algeria and opened up a school there to teach computers and became very successful.
"It seems like I will not be able to stay here. The economy is in bad shape and many computer professionals have been laid off from their jobs. How can I compete with someone who has working experience and citizenship as well? I'm scared and unsure of my future and I don't want to make the wrong decision. I have been in school all my life. Now it's time to get a job and I don't know if I will be successful. That's the main reason I haven't really tried to get a job and have been procrastinating.
"One option I have is to work on my own by assembling and selling computers. But I will be illegal and always concerned about it. Another choice is to marry my girlfriend. She's American and we've been dating for about two years. She says she's in love with me and wants to marry me. But I just don't know. My family would not approve and seems like inter-racial marriages are much more susceptible to failure. When I consider getting married to her, the line between genuine care and taking advantage becomes cloudy. It will break her heart when I go back to Pakistan.
"I know these guys who are in the Desi mafia in New York. They can get me a fake passport or green card. But I've rarely done anything that illegal and risky in my life. The FBI is after them and I'd probably end up getting caught and deported. I don't want to get into that kind of trouble. I think I'll just head back home to Pakistan.
"I love this country and there are so many opportunities and choices available here which are not in Pakistan. I have grown tremendously in the years I've lived here. Twenty years of living in Pakistan could not have taught me the things I have experienced in the last six years in America. But the dirt beneath my feet is not mine and these people in the streets are not mine. This language and culture is not mine and I feel isolated. Friends are hard to find here and people are spiritually starved. Then there is racism and lack of acceptance of "colored" people.
"I think I'll be able to readjust in Pakistan. I have a family that loves me and friends that genuinely care about me. If you have money over there, you can live like you were in America. There's a lot of things I don't like about my country. And I'll have to get involved in trying to correct them. I should work to help my own people. I'll open up a computer school there and improve the life-scope of my own folk. I'll get married to one of my own kind and hopefully not live unhappily ever after. Life is a series of choices, a bunch of gambles. Each choice you make opens up a new world to you and simultaneously shuts out another universe of options. I hope I'll make the right decision. Only time will tell"

Are You a Fish or a Frog

Are You A Frog Or A Fish?

by Fazeel Azeez Chauhan

(Published in Pakistan Link ~ 10-11-96)

Hey, where are you from? This question is asked of us because we are viewed as different; Frogs among Fish. Maybe the issue is not Frogs and Fish but Cowboys and Indians. Yea but what's this Fishy Froggy business anyway.......
Well, I'll quote my Amphibious friend from Ottawa, Canada "I believe it was Imam Abdullah Hakim who told me about fish and frogs. He used these two animal types to describe the two basic kinds of Muslims: "fish" and "frogs". Fish, being water-dwellers, rely on their special environment to carry out all of their activities of life; on the other hand, frogs, which are amphibious creatures, can thrive both in water and on land. "Fish" require ever-present, supportive and homogeneous environments to function successfully. But "frogs" can make it ANYWHERE. Do you seek to spread yourself beyond the scope of your comfort zone? Are you a frog? How far are you willing to venture? If you have thick, slimy, green skin then come along with me!".
Hybrids like us live in the U.S. but are linked to other countries, through an invisible umbilical cord. Those of us who've lived in the "old countries", swam and played among the local schools of fish. There we were fish and not viewed as frogs. The millions of beautiful and colorful fish were of all shapes and sizes. To a large extent, we understood our people and our surroundings, and enjoyed a certain amount of comfortable belongingness there.
Now we've come out to a new land, a different world. Some of us hybrids were born here yet don't feel we belong solely to this land. We long for a swim in the deep ocean and sometimes we venture out there with our friends, fish and frogs alike. As frogs, we are likely to float on top of the water, near the shore, with our vision reaching into the heavens. Through the clouds and the pollution, we try to ponder who we are, where we are and where we belong. And how many years more will we have to live here to be not considered "Foreigners". We may experience that today, fish in both the Indian and Pacific Oceans view us as strange green aliens. So it makes us speculate where can we fit in.
Young people like us often wonder "Who the hell am I? Am I American, Pakistani, or Muslim"? We wonder which group we belong with, Caucasian, African, or Hispanics. Sometimes application forms force us to be incorrectly classified as "Asian" by which they mean Pacific Asian only. Other times we're stereotyped as Arabs or Middle-eastern people. As we ponder these questions and form our self-identity, we beg, borrow and steal pieces of ourselves from various sources. An African American friend recently educated me about the idea of the "Looking Glass Self". It states that we look at ourselves through other peoples' eyes. Us Frogs don't often have the luxury of looking at ourselves through our own people's eyes. So we often see ourselves through American eyes. And sadly, the American eye usually captures us at our worst, and presents negative images about us through the media.
My friend ZZ from Washington D.C. says "I think an important issue that we, as the "first generation", face is culture. What are we? We are hybrids, that is a pertinent term. But where do we draw the line? As an American born citizen, I think I should consider myself an American. The only life I've known is being in America. But I also value my parents' roots, Pakistan. But their parents were Indian. It's really confusing, living in a "hybrid-culture". During the day, we work and hang out with Americans, talking to them, eating their food, experiencing their values. Yet, when we come home to our families, we are eating curries and rice, speaking Urdu and listening to Indian music. At least my parents usually do. I enjoy that too, but, jeez I gotta turn on MTV and watch Alternative Nation to get a grip. And adults wonder why so many of us are so messed up. We have no idea who or what we are. At least, I feel that way sometimes."
How can we ease this situation of duality? That will come from supporting each other. To help each other deal with our common predicament, we need to share our tools. We need to really talk and listen to each other. We need older people to be open to their children and also to mentors youngsters. We may not be able to solve all our problems, but sometimes it helps greatly just to express our feelings and to know that we're not alone in feeling like a fish out of water. Our people lack a survival manual, a history and power in this land. But gradually, our Pakistani community is getting more established here and our broader, amphibious views are benefitting other communities as well. We can also learn valuable adaptation techniques from other communities. Achieving a healthy balance within ourselves is not easy, but none the less, it's a great adventure

American Born Pakistanis

American Born Pakistanis

by Fazeel Chauhan
(Published in Pakistan Link ~  2-19-91)

Eighteen year old Uzmah Multani is the founder and current president of the Pakistani Student Association at California State University, Los Angeles. Two years ago, she decided to form the organization on this campus to encourage Pakistanis to get involved in social and cultural activities. Her intention was to provide a common platform where Pakistanis could meet and exchange their views about life in the United States and to offer support to each other. She has worked very hard to serve our community in a positive manner. Personally, I have found valuable friends and support, through this organization. The following is a synopsis of a conversation I had with her about what it's like being an American born Pakistani. She talks about some of the difficulties posed to Pakistani Americans. I believe these statements also ring true for those of us who have been here for many years.

"I was born in California and have lived here all my life. As I was growing up, my family enriched my life by instilling in me, the traditional Pakistani values. While at school, the American culture also had an influence on my life. When I was a child, some people viewed my identity with a bit of mystery. Their reactions would some times make me wonder what I was: Pakistani or American. My physical characteristics, language and values were Pakistani, yet my spirits were somewhat American.

  

"Most first generation Americans like me, seem to live two roles. Yet it is not like two separate and parallel lives, one American and the other Pakistani. Usually people take the best of both worlds and carefully sculpture a good combination that best suits their individual personality. Like myself, they still consider themselves as Pakistanis. But Some hardliners disagree and question our freedom of choice and want us to be just like a picture in their minds - a stereotype. If our individuality and uniqueness makes them uncomfortable, they become afraid and their narrow minds cannot accept us. This is the unhealthy "either / or" thinking. To them, it has to be either "A" or "P". They want to classify us and put us in a convenient box or category. Prejudice is based on this type of thinking that "I am right and you are wrong", or "We are good and they are bad." But the fact is that there are very few absolutes in the world. The definition of a pure American or a pure Pakistani is extremely subjective. Some ethnocentric and egocentric people want to divide humans into such categories so that they can discriminate against one group or the other.

"Some Caucasian Americans are prejudiced against other Americans who are non-white. I'm sure that just like us, most other non-whites have witnessed plenty of discrimination of this type. I founded PSA because I consider myself a Pakistani. I'm sure you're aware of the sad reality that some Pakistanis are prejudiced against each other. For example, some Pakistanis discriminate against American born Pakistanis. Yet most people do generally accept and respect Pakistani Americans for exactly what we are. They accept us as equal and don't get hung up on differences in languages, religion, culture, gender or place of birth.

I think that being a Pakistani American is a gift. Friends have commented to me that having two identities is far more beneficial than one. We can have Pakistani friends as well as American. Pakistani Americans have the capacity to look at things in a different light and in a more open-minded perspective. I believe that one person's culture, language or gender does not make him or her better than the next person. What really counts is what we have inside of us. Pakistani Americans are exposed to more than one ethnic group, culture and language. This educates them in different areas of life and enables them to relate more openly to people with different backgrounds. They usually view themselves as world citizens and are more willing to accept people of different ethnicities as equals.

"I used to attend Arabic classes at the Islamic Center every Sunday. I mixed with children from various other backgrounds. However, the common denominator of being Muslim united all of us. Students were not classified into different categories, they were just educated. It was then I realized that individuals who classify others are simply trying to prove their own superiority. Religion always taught us unity and equality. Yet humans persistently attempt to supersede all moral codes by implementing their own personal rules and subjective values. Around the world, this factor encourages separatism, ethnic violence, prejudice and war.

"Man has created borders that divide countries and their people. We should not view "us" as better than "them". Rich or poor, Pakistani or American, Punjabi or Sindhi, Shia or Sunni, we are all equal. We have to climb over these walls to the "other" side to get the "other's" perspective, an additional point of view. We are all mirrors and what we see in others are reflections of ourselves. If "others" seem different than "us", we should overcome our fears and try to relate to them objectively. Growth is not possible without objectivity. I wish that we'll soon see a day when Pakistanis can get along with other Pakistanis, Americans can get accept other Americans and people of all "colors" in the world can peacefully and harmoniously unite together, like a beautiful rainbow"