Bandit Queen

by Fazeel Aziz Chauhan

(Published in Pakistan Link  ~  8-7-95)

 
"Bandit Queen" is the name of a new Indian movie. It is a true story based on the life of a famous woman named Phoolan Devi. At one point in time, the film was banned in India because of its controversial content. The movie is not just about Phoolan Devi, however, because it deals with some of the deep social issues of India and Pakistan. This is a very remarkable and socially conscious movie, which makes the viewer look inside. For the Desi viewer, the reality of this movie is hard to accept.
The film opens with an image of a young eleven year old girl. She stares right into your eyes and tells you in a powerful and assertive voice "Yes, I am Phoolan Devi..." At the end of the sentence was a common curse word. This was very unexpected and really grabbed my attention. A young, cute, innocent little girl is not supposed to talk like that. It made me sit up in my seat and I wondered "What was that." From the beginning, the movie was very disturbing. But this ugly discomfort had a very strong and positive effect on my psyche.
Another nice touch in "Bandit Queen" was that Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan was the music composer. There was a haunting song which was sung by a child. Khan kept the music in its raw form and gave it a rough edge. Even the music was packaged in a very real way. This movie represents one of those very rare occasions when the film medium has been used to present the truth to people. Almost all Pakistani and Indian movies show us a romanticized view of life. Like tv, movies can become a drug that we use to escape from real life. We've all seen enough of these movies about fictitious characters who live in a nonexistent world, that we start expecting our real lives to be like that too. But when real life strikes us over the head, it is a very disappointing experience. Films and tv can be very powerful and motivating tools if we want to bring a positive change in the world. That is one reason why this is such an awesome movie.
In Bandit Queen, there were issues which were absolutely the truth but these were hard to swallow. The ugly realities of our society were very difficult to accept. I found myself sitting at the Nuart Theatre in Santa Monica. Almost everybody in the audience was American and there were hardly any Desi people. This made it worse. My first reaction was that I don't want Americans to see all these evil things about my culture. It will give them another excuse to discriminate and belittle us. But if our own society will not acknowledge these problems in our culture, then it might take outside observers to convince us that hey, this behavior is not right.
So what was so disturbing in this movie? It exposed the worst kind of child abuse. It slapped me to show me the severe oppression of women. It demonstrated how rich people can take poor people for granted and make their lives so cheap. It shouted of how human beings who don't have enough money or status are treated worse than animals. It screamed with the pain of women who have no choices and who have to live their whole lives like prisoners and slaves. It makes you sick about the class system which exists in both India and Pakistan.
The movie really shook me up. It woke me up and reminded me of the society that I come from. It showed me who I am. It made me realize the truths about myself and my people, which I didn't want to accept. It showed me the suffering of the masses of India and Pakistan. It reminded me of the raw, blunt and painful prejudice that my people have. Prejudice against how others look, against women, against the poor and against people who have a lower class. It is very powerful movie. If enough of us see it, then making positive changes in our society will become easier. You will realize that there are a lot of things you want to change. You will feel like taking some action to help somebody. And maybe you will follow through and do something to stop the oppression, injustice, prejudice, and other crimes against humanity. What do you feel?

Drugs And Alcohol Abuse

by Fazeel Chauhan

(Published in Pakistan Link  ~  3-4-91)

Drug and alcohol abuse is a problem in this country and also in Pakistan. Drugs have stolen some of my friends and I've wondered why it is that people use and abuse them. The problem does not begin with the first sip or the first hit. The origins are deeply rooted in social and psychological causes.
The recent availability of more dangerous drugs such as heroin have made this a serious problem in Pakistan. Drugs and weapons some times go hand in hand. Maybe one reason for the increased influx of drugs in Pakistan is the war in Afghanistan. The Iran-Contra affair is a good source of information about this type of phenomena. Having said that, I'd now like to focus on the more immediate causes of drug abuse.
Plenty of research has been done on the social and psychological causes of drug abuse. I invite you to think about and research why people use drugs. The problem is not restricted to a certain socio-economic group. Any person is susceptible to it. In America, we frequently hear that among the users there are lawyers, doctors, businessmen and even politicians. So what purposes do drugs and alcohol serve? What is the pain and suffering which the users are trying to numb and alleviate? What realities are they trying to escape? We can find many reasons if we look at each case objectively. An example is what happened with my friend Azmat's brother. Here's the story in Azmat's own words:
"My father used to work in Dubai. After a few of his friends sent their sons to study in the U. S., he decided to send me here too. He wanted me to become a doctor. But my brother Habeeb also wanted to come along. He decided to attend a college for a year to get a diploma in Computers. I was sixteen and Habeeb was seventeen. When Habeeb was in Pakistan, he occasionally used alcohol, marijuana and even opium. I didn't pay attention to it at the time because he never did it in front of me. Like the rest of the family, I didn't want to see the problem and denied its existence.
"After arriving in Los Angeles, I started going to USC, and he went to another college. Our next door neighbors were South Asians as well. Habeeb made friends with them and they re-introduced him to alcohol and marijuana. He had decided using drugs in childhood, to avoid the pain caused to him by his family. Our father, for example, frequently beat us without a legitimate reason. Habeeb was emotionally scarred by this abuse and resented it very much. Parents should give enough love to a child to make her/him feel that s/he is genuinely loved. This gives a child the kind of self-esteem, which is worth more than all the gold in the world. When they grow up, they feel confident enough to face even the biggest crisis successfully. On the other hand, when children are abused, some of them like Habeeb, want to kill themselves. They feel neglected, unwanted, hurt, resentful and powerless. Some may choose suicide as a form of vengeance. While others kill themselves slowly, through a form of self-destruction such as drug or alcohol abuse.
"Habeeb progressed to the more dangerous drugs. He started doing LSD (also called acid) and PCP (a tranquilizer for elephants). But he was unaware of the dangers of these drugs. LSD makes a person see and hear things which are not real. PCP can stay stored in the body for months, causing flashbacks at unpredictable times. Imagine the strength of this drug, which was used as a tranquilizer for elephants. I'm sure these drugs were not available in Pakistan in those days. But they were responsible for making my brother crazy.
"He tried to jump out of the 3rd storey window, he threw himself in front of cars and also became very violent. I tied him up so he wouldn't hurt himself or others. I thought he'd soon snap out of this state. But I had to take him to the hospital after he got completely out of control and lost his mind. He did not recognize me. I was shocked at the whole situation. At age sixteen, this was my first major experience and it haunts me to this day. His doctors could not tell me when he would get better. I was overwhelmed, I didn't know what to do, and I had no family here to help me. I prayed a lot. A whole lot. But day after day, when I visited him in the mental hospital, his condition did not improve. At times he was like a zombie, at other times he was restricted to a padded cell and not allowed visitors. I had lost hope, but five months later, he started coming to his senses again. A few days after he was released, I sent him back to Pakistan. I moved out of the city as well because it kept reminding me of my painful feelings and memories.
"He did not suffer as much as I did, because he was not aware of his condition. But I cried and hurt because I had to see him like that every day. My own brother, lost, somewhere far away, and I didn't know how to get him back. The psychiatrists and psychologists did all they could and woke him up again. So what is he doing today? Habeeb went back to Pakistan eight years ago and for most of that time, he's been addicted to heroin."
Azmat is one of the most clear-headed and understanding people I know. Why is it that his life turned out ok, while his brother's didn't? I think each one of us has different levels of sensitivity. Maybe Habeeb has a more fragile nature and his wounds hurt more. For many of the years that he's been abusing drugs, the people around him ignored his problem. He kept drifting farther and farther away. If the father acknowledged Habeeb's problem, then he'd have to think about the causes, one of which would be his own abuse. So these issues can be very scary to look at.
Drugs and alcohol are forbidden in Islam. In Pakistan, one might feel a lot more social pressure to not use them. But in the U. S., a person can go down to Vons and grab a six pack. The ads tell us that any time is "Miller time". Drug use is more acceptable here and alcohol is well promoted. Like Habeeb, a person can be easily tempted to use one of these items as a crutch. It may be to stop boredom or to avoid an uncomfortable feeling. The person may be trying to forget a painful memory and use drugs as a means of escape. Some may feel powerless about their condition and use drugs to make themselves feel "good".
On the surface, these reasons seem foolish and it's easy for us to point the finger and reject a person who has a drug problem. "S/he is stupid, is not like me, is not one of us..." But this only hurts and further alienates the person instead of helping them. We need to look at the deeper causes of this problem. Why does a person feel powerless to begin with? Exactly what is it that they are trying to forget or escape? Have they suffered a loss recently? Are they under a lot of stress? Do they feel lonely and depressed? The roots of these problems have to be discovered for each individual and then solved.
The first step toward the solution is to identify the problem. Some times this step takes a long time. The user needs to properly define what the problem is and then take steps to correct it. The problem may seem overwhelming, making a person feel hopeless and helpless. When a person has a lot of burden or if something is really bothering them, it becomes hard to keep the mind clear and to know what's going on. In this situation, a close friend or relative can offer the much needed support before things really get out of hand. Counselors and support groups can also serve the purpose.
The longer we put off facing our problems, the more complex they become and the harder it is to solve them. Drug and alcohol abuse are classified as illnesses and should be controlled and stopped as soon as possible. If someone you know has a drug or alcohol problem, there is plenty of medical and psychological help available. Most areas have a local chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. Hotlines are also listed in the phone book for quick counseling and as sources of reference. Ideally the whole family works through the problems together with the help of a professional. We have to try to understand the person and then help them. For their recovery, drug users need lots of help, support and encouragement

Child Abuse

by Fazeel Chauhan

(Published in Pakistan Link  ~  10-10-95)

 It has been said "If you must beat a child, use a thread". In America, even though it is illegal, each year around one million children suffer from child abuse. Sadly, in Pakistan, child abuse is not viewed in general as wrong or destructive to children. Therefore, the vast majority of children end up being abused. Growing up and as adults, millions of these children suffer from mental, social and behavioral problems. Parents and adults need to be aware of the tremendous damage abuse can do to a child's life.
Growing up, my friends and I were frequently abused by people in our families and by our teachers. "Abuse" is usually defined as non-accidental physical attack on (or injury to) children, by individuals caring for them. But abuse can also be verbal, sexual and emotional. It is very painful to see how the lives of some of my friends were destroyed by their parents or "loved ones". My friend Nadeem's parents were working in Dubai and had left him with his aunt in Pakistan. She often used her shoes to beat Nadeem senselessly, on his face and head, in front of the whole neighborhood. This made him feel worthless and humiliated. He's turned into a hermit who finds it very difficult to express his feelings positively and keeps failing in his business ventures. He neglects and abuses his own children, following in his parents' footsteps. Ahmed's father, a military man, was sure that physical punishment and fear tactics were the best means of disciplining his family. He tried to gain their "respect" by scaring them to death. He would line up the whole family in a row and then beat them up one by one, with a broom or hockey stick. Ahmed was so terrorized by his father that he would urinate in his pants. He has developed into a very depressed and scared adult. He is a rebel and hates any kind of authority. He cannot forgive his dead father nor forget his crimes.
These abused children were not mischievous or trouble makers by nature. It was usually the abusers who demanded far more than what the children were capable of providing. Azam's father hit him in the head with an iron rod. He is convinced that this caused brain damage, making him epileptic. He has developed into a very violent person now. Tranquilizers can't calm him down and he frequently beats up various members of his family, including his old father. Indeed, children are not born violent. They learn it from their parents.
Some children experience emotional rather than physical abuse. They may be neglected and ignored by the parents. Waseem was such a case. He had a very sensitive personality. His parents were emotionally unavailable and inattentive, which made him feel rejected and worthless. Thinking no one loved him or cared about him, he started abusing himself with drugs. Now he's a heroin junkie, who has no "self" left. Some adolescents feel very pressured by the family to excel in school. There are cases where kids commit suicide upon failing their exams. Sexual abuse is far more common than we think. Its existence is minimized and denied. My friend Farooq was sexually abused by his uncle. He's an emotionally disturbed adult now, who goes to therapy to heal the pain. He's unsure about his life, particularly about his sexuality. These were some of the cases of young boys whom I personally knew. For little girls I fear that the predicament is much worse.
Child abuse and domestic violence is found in all segments of society. Abused children are not happy, don't feel good about themselves and tend to not enjoy life. They have low self-esteem, poor self-control and negative feelings about the world. Some show high levels of rage, frustration and aggression. Emotionally neglected children who experience lack of love and care, tend to be withdrawn and depressed. They exhibit mental and behavioral problems as they become older. Children learn what they are taught, especially from their parents. Abusive parents teach their children to do the same and the vicious cycle continues from generation to generation.
On the other hand, children who are given love and attention, come to believe that they are loved and look at the world in a positive manner. They have high self-worth and a successful lifestyle. In the book "The Road Less Travelled", Dr. Scott Peck states the following: "If a parent can give a child the feeling that s/he is loved, the child develops high self esteem and self-worth. It is a feeling that no gold in the world can replace. The child grows up having this feeling deep within him/her, that cannot be taken away. Even if s/he's faced with a major crisis, s/he's able to overcome it, believing that s/he has the ability to do so. S/he feels very confident and knows that s/he deserves the best in life, including happiness, love and prosperity. Therefore, s/he does not hesitate to achieve high goals and success.
Most parents want to be good parents. Classes that teach parenting skills often help prevent parents who have abused their children from doing so again. The psychology section of the local bookstore or library is full of books that can help you become a better person and parent. An excellent book by Tara Singh is "How To Raise A Child Of God". Another highly recommended book is "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. If you have been a victim of abuse, it is very sad and I empathize with you. But there is lots of hope. You can turn your life around and stop the never-ending poisonous pedagogy that has been going on from generation to generation