Violence vs. A Healthy Conscience
In the wake
of the massacre at Sandy Hook
Elementary school, one
wonders; how does a person know the difference between right and wrong? We are
born with certain traits and tendencies and also parts of our personalities are
developed through learning. Some say it is a person’s conscience which reminds
them to do the right thing and stops them from doing the wrong thing. We teach
our babies to protect themselves, “don’t put your hand in the fire, don’t go
out in the cold without a jacket, don’t stick your finger in the power outlet,
don’t talk to strangers, stand up for yourself against bullies”. Many beliefs
and ideas become cemented in our minds through childhood indoctrination. If
those imprints come from a dysfunctional family, it can take decades to undo
that early programming. Thus the role of parents to nurture and shape a child’s behavior and belief system is very
important.
In our
lives, what we don’t know gets us in trouble, and more suffering is caused also
because we have forgotten valuable lessons we had already learned. So it is
important to keep that knowledge alive through reminders including
re-enforcement of ethical ideas. The true character of a person is how he
behaves when no one else is watching. Perhaps at that moment he is cognizant or
not, that God is still a witness? We are faced with moral dilemmas every day,
should I pickup this wallet someone dropped, and keep the cash, no one will
ever know. Perhaps the moral compass is located in the conscience, and it has
to be kept lubed and tuned up through repetition of learning. Otherwise, like
the heart, the moral compass can become jammed and the conscience could deaden.
Fresh air
is important for the mind, otherwise the ideas in there can become stale, which
could have toxic effects on the conscience. In war, how can a person in power
convince the army soldier to leave the comfort of his home, tear himself away
from his loving wife and children, put his own life at risk and then go
thousands of miles away to kill other human beings? Usually it requires
dehumanization of the “enemy”, that they are not human beings. Also
depersonalization of the “other”, that they are very different or crazy, to
keep them distant, so that you don’t empathize with them. If you put yourself
in the other person’s shoes, then usually you don’t want to harm them. So the
military man has to be convinced by his superiors that what he is doing is
morally right. He believes he’s a hero when shooting other people in a war. For
some religious people, the conscience is a place where God lives, or a source
which reminds the person to have fear of God. Maybe the conscience is inhabited
by both angels and demons. A politician can then exploit the angels so they
succumb to despair, and then he can compel the demons to take over and control
the behavior of the soldier. Legal and illegal drugs are often used to deaden
the angels. If the angels fall asleep, the person forgets he will be held
accountable for his actions.
Religious
people say they are right and claim they protect human rights and injustices.
Atheists or non-religious people say that millions of people have been killed
in wars in the name of religion. Religious people believe they have a strong
moral compass. They go to church, temple, mosque, etc., where ethical behavior
is re-enforced in their minds. But non-religious people, specially in America and Europe
can also exhibit very ethical behavior and they don’t seem to have more
criminal tendencies than religious people. In the West, more people are
educated, compared to poor nations, for example in Africa.
If it’s not fear of God, then what is it that prompts secular people to do the
right thing and stops them from doing the wrong thing?
In our
daily lives, mentally healthy people can get stuck in bad habits or get lost in
thoughts. Their buttons get pushed un-expectedly (or expectedly), which
triggers strong emotional reactions within them. Some of these emotions can be;
feeling hurt, feeling angry, feeling injured. When a person gets emotionally
wounded, these feelings could overpower the moral compass in their conscience.
Ethical behavior then is put on hold and fear of God becomes absent, even
notions of self-defense can become suspended. At that moment, the person can
burst into rage and do things they normally wouldn’t do and thus will regret
later. This madness can drive them to commit heinous criminal acts. In the past
some criminals would plead “temporary insanity” in court to justify their
violent behavior. A stressful situation can push a mentally healthy person over
the edge and turn them into a criminal. Possibly, a mentally unhealthy person might
be even more fragile and have less self-control. Their fears can be
un-realistic, for example feeling paranoid that someone will hurt them. So that
person might be over-protective of himself or be overly aggressively towards
others, because the threats are exaggerated in their own minds.
Mental
illness, like physical illness can strike anyone at any time. Clearly, in our
country we don’t do much to address mental illness. Mostly people are sedated
with legal medications, alcohol and illegal drugs. If we call ourselves
mentally healthy, we still have normal events happen which cause our minds to
play tricks on us. What excuses, lies and justifications do we use on a daily
basis to convince ourselves that our un-ethical behavior was okay to do?
Too many
tragedies have happened in America
as a result of gun violence. About 87 Americans are killed every day as a
function of gun violence, according to the University of Chicago Crime
Lab and the Centers for Disease Control. In our
nation’s history we have the gunslingers of the wild-west shooting each other
mercilessly. As Michael Moore points out in his Academy Award winning
documentary, “Bowling for Columbine”, we have a culture of violence and wars. Domestically,
the war against the Native Americans, the violence against African Americans
during slavery, the wars to take over California,
Texas and Hawaii. On foreign lands, there have been 187
U.S.
military interventions in the last two hundred years in mostly poor countries
of the world (http://www.globalpolicy.org/component/content/article/155/26024.html),
which indicates a high tendency towards weapons use. Sadly, the powerful lobby
of the National Rifle Association does not allow the government to ban
automatic weapons like the military style machine guns. We as a nation somehow
feel threatened and paranoid that there are enemies out there. The imaginary
boogeyman is just around the corner every day instead of Santa Claus. Yes there
are monsters and criminals out there whom we need to stop and protect ourselves
against. But how many machine guns is enough in the home? And how many military
bases are enough around the world? And how many nuclear bombs do we need to feel
safe? If a Martian lands here, he’ll say this culture of weapons, domestic
violence and foreign wars, is very irresponsible, immature and dangerous
behavior. Hopefully the Congress will soon pass a law to prohibit all automatic
weapons in our country, and some day ban all weapons at home and wars abroad.
In last
week’s massacre at Sandy Hook another cause is
mental illness. There is another factor which brings up the old question: What
is the most common and most acceptable form of child abuse in America? The
answer is divorce. Children blame themselves for the divorce of their parents.
These wounds may never heal and those kids grow up and become divorced parents
themselves. Thus the poisonous pedagogy continues. A child would rather deal
with the tragedy of both parents dying rather than dealing with the divorce of
the parents. But in our society today, we are taught that divorce is normal and
not harmful. We are encouraged toward instant self-gratification. “What’s right
is what makes you happy”, is a common belief in our culture, which can make the
standards of moral behavior very subjective. We can become very narcissistic
and ruthless towards others, instead of using objective principles to guide our
lives.
The mother
nurtures and spends much more time with the child and teaches a tremendous
amount. But it is difficult for her to raise boys, without the help of their
father. A boy learns from his father how to be a man. At times, the father has
to be stern and tough to discipline the boy, specially to teach him that he
should not be a menace to society. Mothers can find it difficult to provide
such training consistently because their natural tendency is to be nurturing
and forgiving. Women are relationship oriented and men are individual oriented
and rule oriented. One reason men like sports is it reminds them of rules and
principles in life. Without accountability to rules, men become ruthless
savages. A father can teach his son to keep an open mind so that positive
messages and non-violent solutions can find a way to his conscience.
The
father’s voice often echoes in the chambers of a child’s mind to do the right
thing. Divorce is like throwing your child under a truck. Boys who join gangs
or become hoodlums often have fathers missing in their lives. One of the
responsibilities of the father is to provide protection and security. So when
his son does something dangerous to himself or others, the father should be
there to stop it, prevent it and resolve it so that the home and the world is a
safe space. As family members and as fellow citizens, we need to take ownership
when things fail, and ask ourselves: What was my role in allowing this to
happen? For example, a parent should realize that they should not get divorced.
A citizen should commit to civic engagement and ensure that gun violence in our
country and wars abroad come to a stop.
An important question to ask ourselves is: What is my responsibility in making the world a better and safer place? The students at Penn State University serve as a good example. They came up with 40 acts of kindness and civic engagement: http://www.personal.psu.edu/uxg3/blogs/40ActsKindness/ongoing-acts-0105/